Lessons from the war

i

reas­ons to die:
jewish, intel­lec­tual, queer
refuses to bow to authority.
who­ever’s call­ing the shots,
i’m a goner

ii

forget forced marches:
my lame leg
would get me shot
within forty paces

iii

news from siberia:
the latvi­ans report
stom­ach bugs, long queues,
one port­able wooden bucket
and no toilet paper
in four years.

iv

for­give the cramped writing:
bark is hard enough;
ink ran out last year
and since my glasses broke
my nose is millimetres
from the text. It is
as close to you as I can get.

v

i don’t want to think
about the spe­cial treatment
I’d get as a girl:
long legs that open
when pushed. I’m not
exactly strong.

vi

then there’s the lungs:
my weak pair wer­en’t made
for breath­ing air this foul.
They seize up. I’m aller­gic to
wood mould. No joke.

vii

say i survived:
who’s left
that I loved?
all are broken.
me too.