Some of you may have heard that apo­cra­ph­ilia had agreed to be a donor for me and that I was going to try to get preg­nant early next year. I was really hoping my first public post about this was going to be a happy announce­ment of success.

We had a signed agree­ment that, unfore­seen issues like med­ical things not­with­stand­ing, this would go ahead soon after I returned. We expli­citly dis­cussed the chance he would enter a mono­gam­ous rela­tion­ship before I returned from over­seas and that would­n’t be an issue, it would just affect method of conception.

Well, he’s entered a mono­gam­ous rela­tion­ship with expo­duck and has just broken our agree­ment, over the phone without even the cour­tesy of saying it to my face. Need­less to say, I am heart­broken, furi­ous, con­fused, hurt and a bunch of other things. I’ve sat on this for a few days so as to post a little calmly, but this is the easi­est way for me to let every­one know without having to go through it over and over and end up in tears again.

I’m not going to call people names here. I’ll just say that I hope you both one day stand sur­roun­ded by your broken dreams, dev­ast­ated in the waste­land of your van­ished hopes, dogged by guilt and pain and feel­ings of use­less­ness. May the pain you’ve caused me be vis­ited threefold on you both.