Treat Yourself Like a Cat

Or, as I’d put it, Everything I know, I learned from my cat.

Here­with

qamar

‘s guide to enlight­en­ment through living like your cat:

Treat Your­self Like a Cat: 9 Life Les­sons

1/ Get off pills. You don’t give your cats drugs, even when they are insane, so why do it to yourself?

2/ Eat what you need. I stopped free-feed­ing my cats and they lost weight, yet I kept stuff­ing my own face and stayed over­weight! Eat pro­tein, eat vit­amin and min­eral rich foods and the right sort of fats. Check out the com­plex­ity of your ped­i­gree cat food and com­pare to your own diet. Eat grass. I provide cat grass for my cats and they chew on it every day before each meal. Fibre and fresh leafy greens are essen­tial for us every day.

3/ Bathe. The cats know it. The Japan­ese know it. The muslims know to do it before prayer. We have run­ning hot water in our homes!–That’s just crazy, nuts luxury! Enjoy.

4/ Drink noth­ing but water. Okay, well maybe we’ll devi­ate from this a little, but you get my point right? We don’t add sugar, alco­hol or caf­feine to the drink­ing bowl, why add it to our own fluid?

5/ Take time to med­it­ate. Every day your cat sits in a comfy pos­i­tion with a calm view with their eyes at half-mast, not asleep, not awake, not focus­sing on any­thing. Try it. Every day. It works.

6/ Sleep. As much as you can or want to.

7/ Stretch. Imme­di­ately when you get up from being sedent­ary, do a couple of stretches. Raise your hands above your head, touch your toes, do a push-up and arch your back. A sun saluta­tion or five will really move the blood around and give you all the zing you need to move to the next bit of sunshine.

8/ Run around like a mad thing once a day. If jump­ing on objects isn’t your style, go for a jog, a cycle or a robust walk. Even better, run about chas­ing a ball or a fris­bee. If you’re really cat-prac­tised you’ll dance around your house nekkid at least once a day to a really rockin’ tune.

9/ Snuggle. Touch another body. Bump heads. Cuddle-up every day. And don’t just wait for it to happen. Demand it! Loudly and with con­vic­tion. nods

Do these nine things every day and you’re on your way to being a cat. You’ll spend less money (cats are hope­less shop­pers unless it’s a shiny-thing), you’ll desire fewer hol­i­days (cats hate hol­i­days), you’ll look and feel fab­ulous and you’ll be grin­ning like the Dalai Lama all day.