If voting fails, break glass

It goes without saying that spells of this kind gen­er­ally require a kitten;
At least one, more if there’s a storm brew­ing — the weather
Is a fickle assist­ant. As to breed, well — the more docile specimens
Tend to dis­rupt pro­ceed­ings less. Loc­a­tion is your dis­cre­tion: hotel
Or hovel, house or hole. Also string — the higher the level of minister
You wish to erad­ic­ate, the more com­plic­ated the thread.

First things first then: take three lengths, even, of unwaxed thread
And braid a circle, saying, I bind you, then slip it on the kitten.
It is imper­at­ive that you only whis­per the name of the minister
— the only excep­tion is made for extremely foul weather:
In the case of light­ning, espe­cially in a dingy or dark hotel,
Wait for the thun­der and, for the most repug­nant of specimens

Shriek their name — for all but the most intract­able specimens
This will be enough to cause a ripple of horror to thread
Through their bones, regard­less of which swanky hotel
They are cur­rently swan­ning through, which smokey-eyed kitten
Is on their arm (they’re all men, of course), or whether
They are min­is­ter of border secur­ity and immig­ra­tion or minister

For the mean­ing­less­ness of cap­ital and work or minister
For the endur­ing belief in a quick fiddle of the books, or specimens
Of that old class of min­is­ter who believes they can weather
Any cir­cum­stances by stand­ing by idly, the thread
Even­tu­ally catches up to them all. But we were col­lar­ing the kitten —
Back in that hovel or hostel, that homestead or hotel —

For the sake of sim­pli­city, let’s say for now it’s a hotel
And that you’re deal­ing with a gut­less creep of a minister
Respons­ible for the incar­cer­a­tion of inno­cents: the kitten
Will be rest­less and try to escape the collar; all specimens
Are pos­sessed by their inhu­man coun­ter­part the moment the thread
Des­cends upon their neck. Assum­ing reas­on­able weather

And one kitten — well, let’s say, cloudy, fore­bod­ing weather
And you reduced to last ditch ban­ish­ing spells in a hotel —
Whis­per the name and at the last pos­sible moment, tighten the thread.
The cat will thrash — the kit includes salve to minister
To any wounds incurred but we cannot guar­an­tee specimens
Not handled cor­rectly at this point. Do not let go of the kitten.

If all goes well, the kitten will go limp then vanish. The weather
Will brighten vis­ibly. All spe­ci­mens remain­ing should be returned via hotel
Secur­ity. As for the min­is­ter? If wanted dead, cut the thread.