A child gashes their foot on a sharp screw, unat­ten­ded. Her mother com­pla­cent, absent. A man mis­in­ter­prets a word here and next thing you know, fur­niture raised over­head, glass tinkles as it’s smashed, draw­ers flung across a room leave gaping wounds in a chest  — and all I want to do is sit out­side in my sun­shine on the porch, laptop at the ready, gazing at newly flowered bottle brush because it’s spring equi­nox and life should be easier than this, should be softer than this, should be kinder, more hope­ful, warmer. The tink­ling should be laughter not shat­ter­ing on a blue day sky so bright as this one, on a golden grate­ful shine so aching as this one but it isn’t and my straw­ber­ries are dying and the weeds are over­grown and I don’t know if a spring clean is going to be enough to fix all of it this time.