My advice for the down-at-heel in Paris. Step one, pur­chase a “what’s on in paris” book­let from a street news vendor (40 centimes). This will inform you of all the cool free hap­pen­ings around town, includ­ing funky music at the new fake Paris-Plage (sand, palm trees, tonnes of people, no surf) by the Seine and the funky free WiFi in the Parc de la Villette.

Secondly, when you find a bar advert­ising music you like (seven piece band from Guinea fusion sound with “soul jazz amer­i­caine” accord­ing to the blurb), but it’s €8, go anyway. By the time you’ve spent the money on your “cheap altern­at­ive” (€1,30 on the funicu­lar rail­way up to Mont­martre, the €3,70 on the red wine you have there and €1,30 on the funicu­lar rail­way back down), you may as well have gone to the music. Mont­martre will still be there the next night. Mind you, if you’d gone to the cool but expens­ive bar, you prob­ably would­n’t have found the ultra-cheap viet­namese take-away, so it’s all swings and round­abouts, really.

Point three: it’s bloody amaz­ing how fast even a person with a bum hip can run when the last train from Mont­martre arrives at Saint-Lazare at 12.51am and the last train from Saint-Lazare back to the almost-at-the-end-of-the-line Porte-Bagno­let where you’re stay­ing leaves at 12.55am and you know you have no money for a taxi. There’s a*lot* of cor­ridor in the Paris under­ground. Even if the bum hip can take it, your out-of-prac­tice lungs won’t thank you. Train­ing for six weeks in advance on the hills of Toledo is a good idea.

Note the fourth: a journ­al­ist card will get you into many places for free. Centre Georges Pomp­idou – the modern art place – is one, as is the Cite des Sci­ences et Industrie.

For the record, my Sat­urday spent bum­ming around the Jardin des Tuiler­ies, fol­lowed by lazing on the Paris-Plage listen­ing to jazz, fol­lowed by a free mas­sage at the fake beach, fol­lowed by cheap dinner on a bal­cony over­look­ing Mont­martre with an Aussie living in London, fol­lowed by wine in a little bar in Mont­martre was pretty damn fine (they didn’t have absinthe; I asked). I’d still like to actu­ally get in touch with *any* of the people I actu­ally know in Paris, and that little seven piece would have been great with, say, Narelle or Chrys­tele, but you take what you’re given.

Sunday, I wandered around Pere La-Chaise Cemetery in the morn­ing, said hi to Edith Piaf and Jim Mor­rison and Proust, and then there was another little free con­cert-in-the-park thing at a dif­fer­ent park, with French hip-hop and DJs, from 2 in the after­noon till 11-ish. The head­line act was DJ Vadim, and it went off. Thank you little Par­i­scope guide. You’re my best­est bud.

Today was a work­day, which effect­ively meant an inter­view with a guy from a WiFi pro­ject, an inter­view with an amaz­ing woman exper­i­ment­ing with sound­space, more time wan­der­ing around the Pomp­idou, and now writ­ing this at the WebGazon exper­i­ment at La Vil­lette. It’s a hard life.…